by Bradley Moore
EUREKA, WA – Lindy Hopper loves her suburban home, her suburban neighborhood, and most of all, her suburban family. Her and husband Dennis, not only have a fancy-schmancy white picket fence, but also a son name Tom. Tom is the most adorable four-year-old you have ever seen. He is hilarious, too. Well, not really. Actually, not at all. But Lindy thinks so. So much so that Lindy makes sure that nearly everything Tom says ends up on the book of face. Things like “Mom, why is toilet paper white?” Hilarious. Or “Peas. Peas. Carrots.” We’re rolling on the floor. “Milk, mama.” Not funny. Negative. In fact, Lindy posts so much of her son’s dialogue, that one of her closest Facebook friends left the comment, “Stop. Please.” Another friend simply said “No. Not funny.”
Lindy started the year with a crisp 78 Facebook friends, but has been left with just one. Sadly, it is the Facebook account she set up for her son Tom the day he was born. Even her husband Dennis abandoned her on the interwebs. He claims it was an “accident,”, but has since left his own wife pending in friend request infamy for weeks.