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Maskless Man in Crowded Bar Confused By Continuing Spread of COVID-19

by Bradley Moore

NASHVILLE – Sitting at a tiny table in less-than ritzy restaurant-bar, The Cowboy Palace, Stu Pidney is getting ready to take in his favorite local band, Super Spreader. The band features five local farmers whose name pays homage to their love of farming and spreading their seed. It’s a very busy night at this famous, hole-in-the-wall honky-tonk in Music City.


The front bar is filled with lots of smiling patrons who are breathless in anticipation for an evening filled with classic country music. In the back room, a packed crowd is getting ready to let their sweat fly and kick up their heels for some energetic line-dancing. One would say, the atmosphere at The Cowboy Palace has a retro 2019 vibe this evening.


Stu settles into his corner table, squeezes a lime into his beer, and takes a big swig from his pint glass. “Look, I’m not gonna call the virus a hoax, but I just don’t think it’s real,” Mr. Pidney said. “Lots of people I know got sick this last year, but it was never the COVID because they never got tested because they knew it wasn’t that.”


When asked if supporting Super Spreader was the main reason he ventured out this evening, Mr. Pidney replied “Yes. And I had been home for 12 hours and was starting to get that Fever Cabin that’s happening a lot in this pandematine.” Just then, the waitress, Sammy, with covered mouth and nose exposed, comes up to the table. Stu takes out a wad of cash, licks his fingers, and pulls out a dollar bill to thank Sammy for her excellent service. He grabs the bowl of nuts on the table and says “Irregardless of masks and this and that, I know how to keep myself safe.”

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