The Bachelor: Biden Edition

Updated: Jul 1, 2020

By Danny Neary

Ladies, you are all here because you met my one incredibly important demand for his VP, that they be a damn good broad. I promise if you accept my offer to be my VP I will spend my life, or 4 - 8 years championing the issues you care about and.... Haha, who am I kidding' Mack? I was VP I can't say that nonsense. You'll mostly just pose for photos and get made into memes so people don't realize you're the reasons they have so much student debt and/or are in prison!

All you fine gals and galdets are incredibly qualified, competent and significantly more impressive than me your male suitor, so welcome to the Bachelor! Since I can't focus on anything for more than 20 minutes that isn't a television show that's been on for more than 12 seasons I've decided to chose my VP like those men on ABD chose their tv wives. All of you have shown the incredible ability to be a different gender than me and might help some people forget about my comments on abortion so you would all make great Vice Presidents!