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Peyton Manning Still Regretting Letting Papa John Kiss Him

Updated: Feb 15, 2020

By Danny Neary

DENVER — Sitting quietly in his Denver home, Peyton Manning begins to do what he finds him self doing more and more these days, reflecting on his career. Manning stated "I had a great run. I broke records, I won some rings, but I can't help feeling like my whole career is tainted by the fact that I let Papa John Kiss me." The former MVP, father of three, and all time great quarterback turns away from me to hide his face, it's clear he's crying. "It's just not fair. I did everything right. I was a leader, I was good on SNL and in all those commercials, and yet now everywhere I go I'm just the guy who let Papa John kiss him. I ask Mr. Manning if there's anything else he regrets, and he shakes his head rigorously adding "Nope, nothing. Sure I'd love to have more rings than Brady but I left it all out there, that's nothing to be ashamed of." The tears continue as beloved icon and member of football's most revered family notices a photo on his wall of him and the disgraced former pizza baron. "Tom kisses his son on the mouth, that's weird too! But no, no, it's not as bad as getting one little kiss on the check from the greasy, racist, pizza guy." Peyton drops his head before leaving the room saying he just didn't feel up to talking anymore. What started as a piece on Peyton's views on the upcoming NFL playoff has turned in to something else, the portrait of a man beaten down and defeated. At press time Manning clarified that he'd no longer be commenting on the Papa John scandal and will now focus solely on making the best All State commercials he possibly can.



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