By Aaron Atkins
NEWCASTLE, UK -A Newcastle area doctor has been arrested for selling nitrous oxide, charging for each breath taken. Dubbed the “King Of Pain” he has long eluded the police, and with no evidence or witnesses they made one last ditch effort to catch the purp red handed: their lead singer would have to wear a wire.
An appointment was made for a simple operation on Sting, the removal of a small infection wrapped around his finger. Sitting alone in the waiting room, he felt so lonely he was driven to tears until the doctor finally opened the door and called his name. When asked about his decision to go under the knife Sting said “Obviously it was going to be a painful operation, but its something i knew I had to de do do do.”
When the operation began, he cried out for mercy but the doctor laughed “Have a little gas and it’ll be another day in paradise,” he said, adding “but it’s not cheap.” Sting feigned ignorance, not yet having the admission he wanted. The doctor cleared his throat, “You will have to pay.”
Suddenly the room filled with the police, along with The Police, and they sprung handcuffs onto the so called King of Pain. They carried him to a van waiting outside through a shower of camera flashes and shocked bystanders. “It was a terrifying ordeal,” said one bystander, “I never would’ve expected Phil Collins.” Comedy Satire Article brought to you by LIT Comedy.
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