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Inspiring! This Woman Doesn't Want To Die Today

By Danny Neary



Talk about inspiring! Emily Peterson woke up today and for the first time in nearly a year she didn't crave the sweet embrace of death. Friends and coworkers said they blown away to see Peterson walking around not with a smile, or light in her eyes, but as if there were some will to live left in her.

“It was honestly kind of amazing,” states Peterson's closest work friend, Molly Quinn. “I asked Emily how she was and for the first time she said pretty good in a way that didn't make me think I should give her my therapists' number."


According to her friends, Peterson, like most people is barely hanging on by a thread this year and seeing her come in with a blank face somewhat resembling a smile was a huge relief.

“She’s alive in 2020 so naturally most of the time she wants to be dead and just not have to deal with... al this.,” Said Peterson's coworker Erika Lawrence, adding "It's just really inspiring to know that this could happen to any of us. Anyway now we might just wake up and not constantly crave death.


When asked for comment Peterson said she wasn't sure what was the cause of the change. But said that she was feeling great, or the closest to great that is possible right now saying "It's really amazon! I woke up today and for once I had thoughts in my head other than kill me, kill me, someone please kill me. Maybe it was just a really good cup of coffee." Later that day Peterson clarified that it was in fact the coffee and she was now sitting in the office bathroom crying out to the gods for mercy.

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