By Danny Neary
Hello, I'm Ben Epstein, head of public relations for rapper, shoe designer, and racist black guy Kanye West. Over the past few years Kanye has come under attack for his various inflammatory comments, whether claiming slavery was a choice, that Donald Trump makes him feel like superman, or that he doesn't like fingers in his ass and avoids that area entirely.
I am here to clear the air and to help people see that Kanye is simply a misunderstood genius who makes millions of dollars selling incredibly over priced clothing as a meta critic of the fashion industry or some other bullshit just make it up... Was not supposed to read that last part.
As I was saying, Kanye is just misunderstood. When he says slavery is a choice he means that the people who work in Adidas sweatshops have the choice of working there... Or starving to death. When he says he loves Donald Trump, he just means that he loves rich egomaniacs who love making a radical decision without doing any research or planning whatsoever.
Now, before you guys start piling on Kanye about his next horrible comment, his new album where he only raps about what it'd be like to have sex with Anna Wintour, or when he names his next kid Adolf, just remember he made My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy... He made that for you. And he deserves all the leeway in the world, because that shit slaps.
And with that I'd like to... Ok, I'm sorry, I've got to go apparently Kanye just tweeted Kim Kardashian should be on the $20 Bill instead of Harriet Tubman's ugly ass.