By Danny Neary
Hello, I am one of the single dozen Republicans who is really, sincerely voting for a Democrat this time around because I just can't stand Trump! I hate everything he stands for, even if his tax cuts mean I can finally afford to pay my three ex-wives alimony and renovate my beach house. I may have pretended I might vote for a Democrat lat time, but this time I swear I really am considering it. I have tons of employees who are Democrats and I would vote with you guys as long as you choose a candidate who will govern exactly like a Republican and I don't see why you're so opposed to this idea. I'm a real person and no I'm not just trying to "gaslight" Democrats into nominating a candidate who won't raise my taxes. I'm just truly very concerned about the state of this country when we have a leader who does exactly what I'd want a leader to do but misspells his tweets and says rude things about the Queen. Not very presidential at all! I swear he's so ill-equipped for the job I'd even vote for another Democrat like Barack Obama. And I hated that guy, even though he did pretty much every right wing thing I wanted him to do but one time he wore a khaki suit and I thought that was terrible! So please, listen to my genuine concerns when I say that the Democratic Party is going too far left. If not you'll lose my vote and the votes of all my friends, meaning at least 7 or 8 other rich, old, white never Trump Republicans who also totally aren't lying when they say they'll vote for a Democrat this time.