I'm Sorry For How I Talked About All My Super Hot Celebrity Ex-Girlfriends
By Danny Neary
As some time has passed I’ve realized that many of the criticisms leveled at me about the information I disclosed about my previous relationships in my new book, available at bookstores nationwide, are valid. I now understand that me talking about all of the beautiful, hot, famous young women, that I totally dated, may have come off the wrong way, given that I didn’t tell them ahead of time that they’d be in my book, or that we were dating. I understand it may come as a shock to suddenly find out that you’re featured in a book that details a relationship you didn’t know you had with a man nearly twice your age and for that I am eternally sorry and proud.
As I have said before, I greatly respect Natalie Portman for her talent, activism, and incredible body that was even better when she was dating me since she was young and hadn’t had any kids yet. I now realize that the way I discussed my passionate, totally real relationship with this beautiful young actress has lead some people to label me a creep and I only hope that they will withhold this judgement until after they have paid full retail price for my new book, currently for sale on Amazon, and wherever you buy books. In closing, I would just like to add that if I hurt Natalie Portman in any way by not telling her ahead of time that I was going to write about her in my book or steal a locket of her hair when she wasn’t looking I am terribly sorry. That is all for now, you can read a follow up apology to this apology in my next book, which will be on sale soon.
Toby, musician, DJ, ex boyfriend of Natalie Portman, Lana Del Rey and every other girl you had a crush on in 9th grade.