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I Amy Klobuchar Am Very Excited To Be Working Alongside My Good Friend Pete Buttigieg

By Danny Neary

*The following is a transcript of Amy Klobuchar's response to being asked if she is looking forward to campaigning for Joe Biden alongside rival Pete Buttigieg*

Listen, those debates may have gotten a bit heated but that's what happens they're called debates not playdates. Pete and I may have our differences, he's a young Rhodes Scholar and Harvard graduate, I on the other hand had friends in high school. I'm just joking, you know my classic Midwestern sense of humor haha. That must have missed Pete, maybe he spent too much time in Cambridge. But really Pete is a great, promising young talent in the Democratic Party. He's already proven himself to be able to take a few punches under the big lights and boy do I know how to throw em. Hey listen, I'm from Minnesota we get things done there and we're not afraid of a fistfight or a snowball fight. Which reminds me you know when I announced I was running Donald Trump called me Snowqueen... Oh you've heard this one? Well anyways I said I'd like to see how your hair looks in a blizzard Mr. Trump!

*Laughs to herself, then turns angrily towards her assistant*

The thing about Mayor Pete is well, guess I can't call him that anymore. He's not even a Mayor anymore, just a little apple shiner who thought he could weasel... Ha, well what I was saying is that Mayor, um, Mr. Buttigieg is a great guy and I look forward to doing many, many...

*Takes a deep sigh* with him as we work together to help make Joe Biden the next President. I know that when we got into this race both Pete and I hoped we'd be the nominee, me being a Senator who's won in a swing state and him being an overly confident young white man and a little shi...

*Her microphone is cut off as her assistant's drag her off the stage, her face beat red, before immediately scattering in terror*



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