By Danny Neary
Alright guys, gather around. This is some big ass news. I know a lot of you have had questions about when this company, or as I like to call it, family/lifestyle brand/life changing industry disrupter is going to be profitable and a bunch of other little details like when are you going to get benefits, or paid. Guys, I have to say you are missing the fucking point. This company, excuse me this disrupting force, this shock of electricity through the industries dick, or whatever genitalia the industry has or doesn't have, #representation, is not just about the little boring everyday concerns, oh my kids need medicine, oh my dad's sick can I have the day off? Guys, you're thinking small! This company was started for one reason and one reason only, to make the world a better place by taking full time jobs with benefits and stability and turning them into gigs where you have to use an app. It's that simple. It's about freedom, it's about success and it's about changing the freakin' world by making it so workers have to compete and never know where their next meal is coming from! Guys? Guys? Ok, I see some of you are leaving but guys I was gonna say we just got another $10 B in funding, and... Oh, so now you're flipping over desks. Real mature everyone! Real, real mature. No! Not the kombucha machine! Guys, come on this is about innovation I was going to give you shares... Of your own wages back to you. Well, that's everyone, this is the worst day of my life. Am I the bad guy? Oh shit, what about Uber for teachers!! Somebody get me on the phone with Mark Cuban!