By Danny Neary
Hello and welcome to property bro! My name's Jonathan I'm a real estate expert, tv personality and an attractive in a non threatening way white guy, so believe me when I say I know how to find you your dream place to live! I'm here with Rachel and Adam two underemployed 30 somethings who both fell and damaged the part of the brain that helps you understand real estate costs, so it's time to check out the home! You guys will see here a beautiful home that sure it may be a little bit of a fixer upper and make it impossible for you to ever work less than 80 hours a week to afford but it's the perfect place for a young couple who's already drowning in debt like you guys!
Over here you'll see a beautiful grand piano currently home to a large Ukranian family, and over here we have a still under investigation crime scene! Don't worry, the guy was frozen to death so the body doesn't smell too bad. And just over here well, this is my favorite part, an all inclusive luxury kitchen complete with beautiful countertops, hardwood floors and a broken down chevy you can sell for parts! And before you start being ugly and stupid and saying things like you want to look at other places just remember you signed that contract with HGTV in blood!