CDC ADVISES JUST PRETENDING IT'S OVER
By Danny Neary
WASHINGTON - In a public address this morning heads of the CDC issued a statement advising Americans to "Just pretend it's over, you know, at this point who cares? Right?" This statement comes after months of confusion around what all precautions were necessary, and a serious, covid related toll to the economy. Head of the CDC Robert Redfield stated to the press "You know, it's been here forever and at a certain point it's like people are gonna die and that's sad but, inevitable??" He went on to add that he thinks people should be allowed to party and go to Coachella if they want because you're only young and hot once.