By Danny Neary
Hello, thank you to everyone for joining us on our Amazon Warehouse new hire tour! Please save your questions for after, no you won't be paid but please save your questions for after. Alright, over here is the break room, here is the water cooler, and here are your cages, and over here we... Again, guys please save those questions, yes you will work in cages and have a 65% chance of contracting coronavirus but please save those questions... And over here we have a ping pong table!
Alright everyone, ping pong time is over, and in the future please remember you get two breaks a day each of them is a 15. No, not minutes 15 seconds, and Mark if you ask one more question you just used up yours. Alright and over here we have some conference tables, managers offices, and over in this room is something really special it's where Mr. Bezos works when he's in town. You'll notice there's no desk as Mr. Bezos doesn't sit, he hangs upside down from a tree branch.
Follow me guys, and over here you'll see in place of health benefits we offer you the befit of free chewy bars! Which technically come out of your paycheck but that's just a technicality, oh and look here's a special treat some of our line workers. How are you doing today employee 9703 and 09? Yes, our workers are referred to by number since most of them have worked so many hours in these dimly lit rooms they can't remember their names or how to make a sandwich, but enough of my blabbering how about we head over here to the shipment dock. Oh, don't open that door Mark! Ah, should probably have told you guys Mr. Bezos has developed a taste for human flesh sorry about that but don't worry I'm sure it won't happen to anyone else today.