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A Blue State Christmas

By Danny Neary



"There are no red states and blue states. Just states full of smart people and states full of people we should make fun of."


If I were going to put a Christmas tree up to symbolize this year it would be the sad Charlie Brown one. You know, the one that showed how poor and how much of a loser Charlie Brown was for not getting a better more expensive tree? That would symbolize this year and our current, soon to be former, broke President. Times have been hard this year and Christmas is a time that highlights some of these hard things. Some people can't afford a PS5, or a renovated kitchen, or healthcare because I just laid them off. We're all struggling.


This year has been painful for all of us, as someone who's had to work from home and never had any risk of being exposed to covid I'd just like to say don't think we don't know what you're going through essential workers. I just hope my love, support, and claps everyday make up for your risk of being exposed to covid and the risk of not being able to come up with the, $5, or $6K or whatever it is you need for rent these days.


At Christmas we must be grateful and give joy. That may be hard if like me you're sick of working from home and having to tip your maid extra but we have to take count of the good things in our life this year Remember the health care workers, not the people they're treating because they probably go ti on purpose or because they're so stupid! Those idiots! I'm sorry your job isn't safe and you have to be exposed everyday but maybe learn to code or wear a second mask, or go back to Yale for a Masters, I don't know, figure it out. People need to adapt and adjust to the times or be run over, that's what Christmas is all about.


Let's also bestow our gifts and blessings upon those who worked the polls this year. And we should maybe give to their Gofundmes because a lot of them were probably exposed to covid and Biden promised to veto Medicare For All. So let's give them a hand until they get what they really want this Christmas, the exchanges re-opened!


We should also be sure to thank Santa, AKA Dr. Fauci. Who just like the real Santa gets a lot of hate from people who don't want to believe in him and for being entirely unhelpful during the aids epidemic. Nevertheless he has been our angel this year, other than that brief period where he told everyone not to wear a mask which is really water under the bridge at this point right? Because at the end of the day he figured it out, told us to wear masks and gave Trump disapproving looks and that's what it's all about.

The pharmaceutical industry is often not many people's favorite but this Christmas they are coming through with a special Christmas gift!

A vaccine that just like most great gifts not everyone will be able to afford it but it's the fact that it's there that counts! Sure if our healthcare system wasn't run by these companies the virus might have never gotten this bad in the first place and sure all the funding for research comes from universities and the government and we simply allow a few companies to patten them and distribute them at marked up prices but.... What was I saying? Ah yes, I already spoke with a friend who said I'll be first in line so let's give thanks and raise a glass to those heroes in the pharmaceutical industry, and pour some out for the people who won't make it because of them.





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