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Realistic Houseplant Care Tips

Updated: Mar 24, 2022

so you can tell your friends you have a "plant baby" now.

Now that Spring has sprung, you probably want to hop on the houseplant trend. (You're a little late, but it's fine.) Go ahead, bring some beautiful greenery into your home to make you feel like you're a part of nature, even if you're too lazy to go outside and experience it in person. If caring for a small plant has you feeling overwhelmed, here are some tips for taking care of your new, leafy babies!

1. Let the nice lady at the plant store do the hard work.

Ask her what the absolute easiest thing to care for is, and then let her pot it and give you advice. This way, you can shit talk her to the plant so it won’t be hostile towards you.

2. It can be easy to forget to water your plants.

We recommend setting alarms on your phone. Then when they go off while you're sitting on the couch, you can glance down, hit snooze twice, get annoyed, then throw your phone against the wall to turn it off the third time. You'll forget to water the plant and you'll need to repair your screen. Hey, at least you tried!

3. Keep plants safe from pets!

Cats in particular are notorious for munching on leaves. To prevent this, put the cat on a high shelf (but make sure they can still get to the litter box!). Establish yourself as the pack leader. You decide the home pet hierarchy now.

4. Watch out for insects.

If you find little critters on your plants, you have two options: spray it with toxic pesticides (boo!) or read them a copy of The Very Hungry Caterpillar. Then name your cool, new pet.

5. Finally, set realistic expectations.

Go ahead and decide that you like dead things over living ones. Brown can be your favorite color! Start a leaf crunching ASMR TikTok! You have options for when you inevitably fail your lovely new plant!

We hope this helps you on your journey into plant parenthood! Good luck!



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