Tips For Re-opening School
Updated: Aug 16, 2020
By Danny Neary
1. Students won't be allowed to kiss in halls to stop the spread of COVID, and to spare the feelings of the losers.
2. The teachers didn't know what to do last year, so let the students teach classes.
3. Do all the school work from home to teach kids the value of cheating.
4. Make classes shorter by only teaching kids the things they won't just look up on their phone.
5. Make the kid wear a uniform so they're less likely to make fun of my stupid pants.
6. Make the kids sit far apart so they can't whisper and spread germs or hurt the teacher's feelings.