By Danny Neary
Hi, I'm Mark Eisneer, the owner of Movietime movie theaters. It's been a rough time for the movie theater industry but when we come back we can't wait to see you again. Here at Movietime, we know you have a lot of options when it comes to content from streaming, pirating, and cat videos on Instagram. Which is why we're turning going to the movies into a one of a kind event. Which is why we now offer so many exciting new things like a bar, reclining seats, and handsome bussers to give you a full body massage! If you're still not convinced, we've also got an all inclusive daycare where you can have your kids tutored in Russian, French, or German. And that's not all, our staff will even pick up your dry cleaning, drive you to the airport, or help you find your biological parents! And before you leave, be sure to check out our lobby, where we give out free t-shirts, puppies, and the bones of the elephant man. At Movietime, we'll just be so happy when you finally run out of things on Netflix and come see whatever sequel or reboot we're showing instead! And we're especially happy to see our Rewards members! Sign up for our rewards program today, for discounts, bonuses, and a blowjob from me!