Crises I’ve Had While Trying To Get Something From Between The Seat While Driving

By Danny Neary

1. Why Do I Even Bother? I feel like my whole life I'm trying to reach something between the seat and it's always just a little out of reach. I should apply to grad school.

2. Ugh, are those potato cakes? When did I eat potato cakes? Why am I the kind of guy who would eat potato cakes?

3. Well this is it this is how I die. I'm gonna need both hands, I'm not waiting until I stop because I need to play music from my phone or else I'll have to think about my thoughts in silence and that is worst than death.

4. Why do they even make these gaps? Just put the seat right next to the cupholders! No one needs this extra 6 inch gap that is only big enough for things to fall between. If I survive this I'm gonna start going to church again... No I'm absolutely not.

5. Why did they even invent cars? Trains are such a better and more efficient system and their better for the environment and I'm pretty sure Henry Ford was a Nazi. Well, I'm driving? So does that make me a Nazi? No, I'm only driving because Ohio is a hellhole and doesn't have any public transportation and the auto industry blocked... Oh shit a goose!